Having long supported the mentoring network through TIN, it was time to put my own cards on the table and offer myself up as a mentor on the database. That was last September, and I have since been approached over a dozen times. With some people, I have discussed their needs and been able to offer help through "email and phone" mentoring; with others we jointly decided that this would not be the right relationship for whatever reason, but we were able to "broker" introductions that were beneficial; and with a few , we embarked on a more formal mentoring relationship. This is the brief story of one.
When we met initially, we "contracted" how we would work, how we would review if it was working, and how we would stop if it was not! The relationship began with a quite intense number of meetings over 6 months, in response to significant changes and developments in the mentee's working circumstances. Some major mile stones have now been reached, and we have recently agreed that the initial "formal" need had been met, and although we may keep in touch through email or phone, we no longer needed to arrange to meet so regularly. We'll both take some time to reflect and in a few months time, I will make contact to see how things are going, and we may decide to meet up.
So - what did we actually do? We looked at the current challenges, and how they could be turned into successes or opportunities. We also looked at things that might be blocking success and were able to work through together, different strategies for managing them. There were some specific work related issues, and at times part of our sessions felt more like coaching - me offering some experience and the mentee teaching me about the realities of their world. From my perspective, the main thing was finding opportunities to reflect, to observe, to look in order to gain insight into the way other people "think" and "behave". Basically, it became a safe environment in which to ask the difficult questions, test and try out the potential answers and to learn more about ourselves and others.
I am very grateful to my "mentee" for giving me this opportunity. It has developed my own skills and given me a privileged insight into someone else's reality. It's not the same as making a new friend - the relationship when it works well, is deeper than the "talk and gossip" level of interaction you have with a friend. That's why it is important to manage your time together well! I recommend it to anyone as part of their own personal development to offer to be a mentor - it's a revealing, stretching and most of all rewarding way of gaining new knowledge, insight and level of skill. It's NOT just a job for the "top" people - we all need to share our skills. I hope that my mentee partner will soon be able to experience the relationship from the other side! (hint hint!)
Rosalind Maxwell-Harrison
Independant Consultant
E: rosalind.maxwell-harrison@vodaphoneemail.co.uk
T: 07747 630893
